If you want to influence more, keep these in mind:
1: Want a favour? Then do a favour.
Generally, if you do someone a good turn they will want to return it. So offer to water the plants while your neighbour goes on holiday or look after their children for a couple of hours after school – then ask a favour in return.
2: We’re persuaded by people we like
Who are you most likely to want to help if they ask you to? The person you like or the person who walks by without saying good morning? We put ourselves out for people we like. It’s a little bit strange this one as one study showed that waiters in restaurants were given a 20 percent more in tips if they gave diners additional mints with their coffee, while telling them what nice people they were.
3: Start small.
In other words don’t go in straight away and ask for them to look after you dog for a month while you go to sunny Florida. Similarly, when it comes to getting commitment from someone to do business with you, then ask them to do something small first such as completing a short survey to assess their needs and wants or by keeping to an arranged telephone call to answer questions. If someone isn’t prepared to do something small and keep to that arrangement, then they certainly won’t keep to any bigger arrangements either.
4: Use the Power Word!
The word you need to here is ‘YES’. When people are asked to opt-in or commit to something in writing then they are much more likely to turn up or do the good deed for you.
5: Group think.
We all like to know that other people are involved and to feel part of a group before committing ourselves. One survey on how we think in groups found that when one person was asked to stare at the stars in the sky, passers by ignored what he was doing. However, when a group of people were asked to look at the stars in the sky passers by began to notice and ask questions as to what they were doing. If most people decide on a particular course of action, we feel more comfortable doing it too.
6: Fear of Loss.
This is a great motivator to get people to take action as the fear of loss is very powerful. When we see bargains such as ‘when it’s gone it’s gone’ we tend to rush in and grab it. Similarly, if you were to ask your partner to take you on holiday to that wonderful hotel in the south of France or you’ll be very disappointed, then its likely they will buy into the idea of returning.
7: Denial is easier.
Just pointing out the consequences to someone without giving them the remedy rarely works. It’s a lot easier to deny its happening than it is to face up to any need to change. Warning someone about the consequences of drugs, alcohol, smoking or weight loss rarely works as when people are not given the remedy they will prefer to live in denial. Giving someone the information to join a weightloss programme or a stop smoking now group and leaving it for the person to sign in for themselves works much better.
8: Best and worst times for making decisions.
We make decisions all of the time and if we’re tired or stressed we can make a wrong decision very easily. Similarly, if we are feeling upset, angry, tearful, unhappy or any of those negative emotions we can make a mistake. If we’re happy and having fun with a crowd we can easily go forward with something that we will regret later. So become aware of your emotions when making decisions and take the time to think it through logically.
9: Because …
This is an interesting piece of research on people queuing up to use a photo-copier as when a stranger asked if they could jump the queue, only 60 percent of people agreed to this. However, when the stranger used the magic word ‘because’ and gave an explanation as to why they wanted to use the photocopier and jump the queue, 90 percent of people agreed to it. Strangely enough, people don’t even listen to the reason either!
So have fun using these and see what outcome you get compared to how you’d normally try to influence others.
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Article by: Wendy Howard, Spirit of Venus, www.spiritofvenus.co.uk & www.grow-training.com